today is my birthday

and I have never felt so fucking good.

we met one year ago today

hi, I love you 

this year has been the happiest of my life

living in love 

graced by the care and kindness of a good man 

bises

celebrating JC's sick zombie trick on the world

OUTSIDE!!!

we love trees + seas

spring ocean visit

good wake up

love waking up from a nap on a sunny friday afternoon to a message that says alyssa my child sweet and wild how does your garden grow?


I have the best family

life. rules.

today:
bed
store
breakfast
bed
back deck
beers
sunshine
dinner
yoga
bed

today was a good day

ratatat bus ride boy-pal morning helping work work work succeed boyfriend happy hot yoga sweaty girl sunshine for a moment home work write make talk girl time treats blackberry jam new bowl make gifts sleep soon sleep soon

happy international women's day

thinking of all of the beautiful women in my life today 

I'm blessed with so many 

and you are all meaningful people in my life

keeping me grounded 

lifting me up

thankyou for everything

my grandmother, Natalie Arbuckle (nee Natulka Yarme), a few days before she passed. 

(June 2005)

Bobka you will always be in my heart and mind as the hell-raising opinionated hilarious and sweet woman you always have been. 

its friday! puppies kittens cute boyz cupcakes and sparkles for everyone!

friday morning in the south country

wake up wrapped up in good strong loverman arms
you are beside the sea
you are warm
play all morning
have coffee and croissant with blackberry & peach jam
read the new york times art section
retire to upstairs to write
in bed
looking across the sea at mount baker

I am here and I am happy
everything is so good
x

greetings from seattle

hello sweet things-
writing from a little seventh floor window nook in capitol hill overlooking this good old town, loving good and living good as always. america's been quite the lady this time around, and this city makes me like the whole country just a little bit better. wooooeeee!

we hijacked janine + other gaelens roadtrip and made them drive us to seattle, so that started the trip off great!! then picked up 8 bottles of wine, a bottle of champagne and LOTS OF CHEAP AMURRICAN BEER so you could say we've been preeeeeeeeeeeetty saucy these last couple days.

last night saw a film called biutiful and it was FUCKING STUNNING and everyone should see it. javier bardem is a mindfuck of a good actor, and the surrealist elements were gorgeous. visually it was inspiring at almost every turn. go! do it!  also went to the local VV and picked up a floor length knit wool poncho made for yours truly in iceland probably 50 years ago. pumped to introduce that baby to some cabin time and beach campfires this summer.

thought of you ragnhild marie falkenberg valstad while i was hunting through mugs for some good american states ones. won't tell you what i found but lets just say the mug collection is about to get (even) bigger.
thought of you miriam alicia thom while i was reading in a stumptown scoping babely baristas (don't tell gaelen!)
thought of the rest of you blawg-lurkers in that we all need to come hang out here together this summer! this city rules! lets take it over!

deep blue love hallucinations

your mouth took me into the most brilliant sea I've ever seen 

easy peasy happy kitten rainbow sunshine puppies and cupcakes

I woke up this morning with a fierce happiness ringing out of me loud

and everything is easy now, even the hard things

x

NEW YEARS EVE

it's almost the new year, and I have so so so much to be thankful for.

friends, thanks for being in my life now and tomorrow, this year and next.

I hope 2011 brings you all your wildest hearts desires, joy, happiness, love, gratitude, sunshine, good sex, good food, and an open heart.

xoxoxo
-A

Some moments instantly become memories. 

This summer I nearly burnt my house down. My hands were bandaged fingers to forearm for weeks, and I was, of course, unable to shower alone. My man and I took our first shower together in this time. The First Shower is supposed to be ultra-sexy and a bit porny, hands all over each other, mouths exploring, water making skin sensitive and organs wet. For our First Shower I stood arms up, useless hands resting against tiled wall and shower curtain, trying to keep the bandages dry. He sweetly soaped and cleaned my body and the combination of pain killers and self pity and helplessness and frustration made it very very hard not to cry. 

I'm a proud woman and I didn't want to cry in front of this new lover, body soaper. Luckily when you cry in the shower the streaming water camouflages your tears so as long as you're not ugly-crying, as long as you're keeping quiet, you can hide it, easy. 

I felt like a defeated boxer, arms up, waiting for a brotherly trainer to unlace my gloves. 

And this is how we began. Me, the ex-fighter. He, the un-lacer. Me, the bittersweet defeated. He, the caregiver. 

The bandages have been off for months now, and the scars have almost disappeared. I try to keep the boxing gloves off as well, but sometimes, the old meanness, the old fear comes out and I lace up. And he always, always, unlaces me.